Exhausted...
It's hard to sleep in here.
The air-conditioning kicks on for 20 minutes or so, then shuts down for 10 minutes. I'm either freezing or sweating. The plasticky pillows covered in more plasticky material don't add to the comfort level. They trap heat and sweat and are too hard and lumpy for my small head.
The doo-hickeys measuring my vital signs beep constantly, and since my blood pressure usually runs a little low, it sounds loudly almost every hour to indicate that I may be dead.
There are at least three, but usually four, saline bags at any one time draining fluid and medicine into me through the CVC. They empty in about an hour, but drain at different times, so they each beep once an hour too.
Every hour, I have to get my temperature checked.
Blood-taking is done in the middle of the night between 5am and 6am so that lab has time to get the results out by the time the doctors make their rounds.
That's up to five interruptions almost every hour for the last three(?) four (?) days? I don't know, but I'm so tired it's ridiculous.
Being awake so much, I think about the things I'll start appreciating more when I'm outta here:
* Ankles - Not just for running and spraining. They do actually add to the aesthetics of one's leg
* Bellybuttons - mine's gone from innie to outtie (YES, I've gone that fat)
* Being mobile - When it takes 2 minutes to turn to your side and you risk tearing out a major blood vessel each time you do, it makes you think about how much we take for granted the ability to move (without pain).
* Sleep - one of my favourite times of the day is the space between lying in bed and falling asleep. Snug under the covers, cool, clean and comforted, I love that window of non-time when my body gives up its nervous tension and sinks into slumber. And it's extra special when D's holding my hand... I haven't seen him in four days - we haven't gone this long without not seeing each other since I was in Sydney.
* Being clean - OMG what I wouldn't give for a shower. None of this dry shower nonsense with the baby wipes and the talcum powder. I want hot cascading water, soap and shampoo!
The air-conditioning kicks on for 20 minutes or so, then shuts down for 10 minutes. I'm either freezing or sweating. The plasticky pillows covered in more plasticky material don't add to the comfort level. They trap heat and sweat and are too hard and lumpy for my small head.
The doo-hickeys measuring my vital signs beep constantly, and since my blood pressure usually runs a little low, it sounds loudly almost every hour to indicate that I may be dead.
There are at least three, but usually four, saline bags at any one time draining fluid and medicine into me through the CVC. They empty in about an hour, but drain at different times, so they each beep once an hour too.
Every hour, I have to get my temperature checked.
Blood-taking is done in the middle of the night between 5am and 6am so that lab has time to get the results out by the time the doctors make their rounds.
That's up to five interruptions almost every hour for the last three(?) four (?) days? I don't know, but I'm so tired it's ridiculous.
Being awake so much, I think about the things I'll start appreciating more when I'm outta here:
* Ankles - Not just for running and spraining. They do actually add to the aesthetics of one's leg
* Bellybuttons - mine's gone from innie to outtie (YES, I've gone that fat)
* Being mobile - When it takes 2 minutes to turn to your side and you risk tearing out a major blood vessel each time you do, it makes you think about how much we take for granted the ability to move (without pain).
* Sleep - one of my favourite times of the day is the space between lying in bed and falling asleep. Snug under the covers, cool, clean and comforted, I love that window of non-time when my body gives up its nervous tension and sinks into slumber. And it's extra special when D's holding my hand... I haven't seen him in four days - we haven't gone this long without not seeing each other since I was in Sydney.
* Being clean - OMG what I wouldn't give for a shower. None of this dry shower nonsense with the baby wipes and the talcum powder. I want hot cascading water, soap and shampoo!
posted by Sheralyn at 8:00 AM
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